Learning to depart

I was reading a book last month that really touched me. It is called "Turn my Mourning into Dancing". It is from a famous priest called Henry Nowen. The book is about the hardships we go throughout our lives, and how they can be used for us to grow and not to complain.
There is this amazing passage about death which I want to remember always and apply it in all the areas of my life.
"This (death) can discorage us, of course. It leads some to despair. But we can also discern in the very disapointments life gives us chances to reflect hopefully on our mortality. Birth, going to school, attending college, marrying, getting a firt job, and retiring all provide us with opportunities to let go of what we find familiar. They usher us into our lives 'small deaths'. They remind us that fear and love are born at the same time. Both are never entirely separated in our existence. But as we come into contact with these little deaths we meet life. They allow us to learn to let go. They prepare us to discover a life different from what we have known before.
Life is a school in which we are trained to depart."
For me, a small death from which I've been learning is leaving my country. Now, in the end of this semester, I feel I'm living another small death. I've met some amazing people, have learned a lot of English, built a whole routine. Holidays are coming, don't know how next year is going to be for me. But some changes come to help us meet life, learn from it, and get going on...

Not so axious...

Sometime ago I wrote a blog about anxiety. It is one of the things I struggle the most with; however, it has been teaching me many lessons.
Today I suffered a little disapointment. I was expecting something great that did not come to happen, at least not in the way I wanted to. But I've been thinking about it and realized we feel anxious because we don't know what to wait for the future. But, isn't it suppose to be an amazing thing? Not knowing about the future? Not having all things under control? Not having to depend and rely on our own strenghts all the time? Just resting sometimes...
In our listening class we have been discussing about free will and predetermination. That is an endless topic! No ways one can say "I have the answer!" I have my own hypothesis though: It is certain we have free will, which leads us to be responsable for our decisions and actions. That is wonderful, knowing we can always be better persons, we can improve our skills and push hard to achieve our goals. However, I think it comes to a point where God or destiny (whatever you believe in) will put His or its finger in the situation and say "That is not what I want for her, even though she doesn't know I have something much better to surprise her".

What I want for Christmas...

When I was a kid, the closeness of Christmas made me wonder what present I would get from Santa. I would write letters and expect restless that my wish would become true. On the Chritmas eve my whole family would gather around the tree, which was packed with presents aroud it; tiny, smal ones, and realy huge ones. We used to have a big supper (we still do) and talked a little bit about the meaning of Christmas. Those were all great presents from Santa! Nowadays I realize I had much more than I expected: I had the same love Jesus had when he was born, a kind and caring family around me!
For this Crhistmas, I'm not going to be with my whole family for the first time, but I still have some wishes I would like Santa to grant me:
I want a nice cozy home, with lights all around;
I want snow falling outside and the lack of worry about tomorrow;
I want kids around me and the sound of gifts being unwrapped;
I want a nice, warm supper with my friends;
I want a simple and sincere prayer;
I want to feel like a kid again; I want my mom around and I want to sit on her lap;
I want an expected phone call and I want to hear my dearest ones celebrating;
I want hugs and kisses;
I want the love of God to surrond me and whisper to me "I came for your sake, so you could have the greatest Chistmas present, my abundant love."
I would not ask for more this Christmas...

Snow

Before I came to Canada, I had never seen snow before. Probably you Canadians, or you people who live here for a long time won't understand me, but it's a strange impression. I'm quite used to see everything around me quite green, or red, pink, even brown. However, seeing all around white is a weird experience! At first I got pretty excited, and I'm still. But I keep thinking all the time how people deal with daily problems snow causes, like taking it from the top of your car in the morning, warming the engines. Even walking on the street...I'm always aware not to fall! Not staying outdoors for a long time is inconceiveble for me, as I used to take long walks in my city. Everything about snow is new for me. At the same time it's annoying sometimes, it is quite enchanting watching the little white light flakes fall outside my window...!

Anxious

I'm a very anxious person. This has been a characteristic I've been trying to change! I want to see everything ready in my life! Concluded, done, perfect! But sometimes, I think it would be no fun if it were like that, if we didn't have challenges, or disapointments, or hope that something was going to change...It would be no fun at all. I try to convince myself that way. Try to believe that, try to enjoy each day! It's quite hard for me!
Today I feel a little low. Miss my home, my family, my friends, one specially I have learned a lot with. Sometimes I think if I have done the right choice...I believe so, but I still feel insecure now and then. This is all related to my anxiety. The fact that I wonder all the time what comes ahead... and try to control it, make the best decision based in what I know abou the future! I know that is not possible. And if it were, I know it wouldn't be good for me. Let's just see what God's will brings...

Cultures

I've been learning a lot about different cultures here in Calgary, and specially here at University. Calgary bears people from all around the world. You can talk to traditional Canadians, with their "hey", in the end of every sentence. You can meet Chinese (many Chinese...). They are very friendly and make us wonder what they're speaking with so much enthusiasm. We can see many people from Muslim countries. They seem misteriouly charming. Latin Americans, I love them, make me feel home, I've never liked so much hearing spanish, even though I speak a lot spanish with my dad's family, from Venezuela. Didn't meet many Brazilians here at University, but I know they're out there...For all that diversity to work it takes a lot of respect, and that I've seen plenty! It makes me feel glad about the city I've chosen to live for now!

Those on the left are some pictures of my city. It is called Belo Horizonte (BH), which means "beautiful horizon". And it cetainly is!!!

Last weekend

I had an amazing last weekend! On friday night I went to play bowling with some friends. It was fun! On saturday morning I got to sleep late! I needed that...made me feel brand new! In the afternoon I went to play squash with a friend. It was my first time. Really hard, but I think I got it quick, I loved it! I'm definately gonna play often. And it's very good exercise! ...My arm is still sore! hahaha! Saturday night I went to the movies with some friends and on sunday I just got a lazy day! It was assowme! I rested a lot and in the evening I went to church! Great weekend! I had it all, from having fun to sleeping a lot!

This last weekend was really great! I had plenty of time to rest, do some reading and go out with some friends. I feel renewed. This weekend snowed! It makes the city looks even more beautiful! I've been loving living in Calgary. I think I have passed the worse time of adjustments. I feel in peace now, and confident the best will come! It's already november, and I almost can't believe the year is coming to the end. I think I took I good adavantage of it, I've learned a lot this year, specially about trusting God, and his will to my life!

Thursday!

First of all, I'm sorry guys about my last posting... I just wanted to express myself! I feel better now and one of the reasons it's because it's THURSDAY! I love thursdays. On thursdays we can actually feel the weekend coming. A thursday is almost a friday. It carries the advantage of planning for the weekend. On that day we can also think about all we've done in the begging of the week and check it as concluded. I love this feeling of conclusion, accomplishment! What I mean is that Thursdays are fun because on those days we can live the spirit from the weekend and the compensation of the work we've been doing during the week.

My life nowadays has been realy busy. I have to divide myself between studies, job, preparation to the masters program. All that have been making me really exhausted. Yet, what streess me out the most is rude people, injustice (either in minor or major ways). I'm tired of people who don't care about their neighbours, people who don't care about the planet. The other day I just heard from a person I know that he doesn't care to waste water, because he is not paying for that!!! I am very sick of it: selfishness. I'm tired of neglecting people, who just play with others' feelings. On the other hand, I have had the opportunity to get to know some amazing people, who care for honour, cortesy and truth! That gives me hope!

Adjustments

To do some adjustments in our lives can be difficult sometimes. Moving to another country can be one of these ajustments, and all the things that are somehow involved in it. But I believe, most of the times these adjustments help you to grow, to be stronger.
The hardest adjustment for me has been staying away from people I love. But having a goal requires self-determination, right?
Adjustments can also be fun. Meetting different places, different people, different languages. All that has been really fun for me. I believe some time later it will be worthed, actually it is already.

Thanks guys for all the messages! They encourage me a lot! Hope you keep in touch...

Friendship

Friendship is one of the most important things in my life. I believe there is a blank in our hearts that can be filled only by friends. Not by family, not by carreer, not by events, not even by God, only by friends. They come sometimes very slowly in our lifes, sometimes sudenlly. Anyways, they always surprise us with their love and support. Sometimes they can disapoint us. That's ok! How many times have we disapointed them too.
I have some amazing friends in my country! (Oh, how I miss them!). ButI also have been finding some very good friends here in Canada. They help me to endure through some cold weather...they motivate me in many ways as possible by praying, supporting, talking, listening, feeding...(isn't it Lu), helping to buy some coats and warm suits..., advicing... I already love them all!

Hi family!

Being away from my family is one of the most difficult things I have ever done! Love them a lot! Hope you guys are ok! God bless!

Canada's beauties

Alberta is definetly one of the most beautiful places I have ever been to! The natural beauties are what impresses me the most. I just love to go to the mountains and look to those amazing rocks! Last time I've been to the rockies I was astoned by the snow. It was the first time I've seen snow. I went hiking with some friends, who had been there before. When we got to an amazing lake I had no words! There is no way to describe it. But I can say the pine trees were covered with the white snow. The lake was geeting frozen. And it was so still and calm that the reflex on the water would look just like the real landscape! We even saw an avalanche! It was amazing! Although the rockies are my favorit, there are also some amazing places here in Calgary. The parks are huge and kind of wild too. There are some very extent parks, where we can hike and even find some wild animals.

Hi, Canada

Hi people!
Here I am in Calgary! Created my first blogg today! Hope it helps me to communicate and to show a little bit about my lovely country to the world!
Love (Brasil),
Beca