Learning to depart

I was reading a book last month that really touched me. It is called "Turn my Mourning into Dancing". It is from a famous priest called Henry Nowen. The book is about the hardships we go throughout our lives, and how they can be used for us to grow and not to complain.
There is this amazing passage about death which I want to remember always and apply it in all the areas of my life.
"This (death) can discorage us, of course. It leads some to despair. But we can also discern in the very disapointments life gives us chances to reflect hopefully on our mortality. Birth, going to school, attending college, marrying, getting a firt job, and retiring all provide us with opportunities to let go of what we find familiar. They usher us into our lives 'small deaths'. They remind us that fear and love are born at the same time. Both are never entirely separated in our existence. But as we come into contact with these little deaths we meet life. They allow us to learn to let go. They prepare us to discover a life different from what we have known before.
Life is a school in which we are trained to depart."
For me, a small death from which I've been learning is leaving my country. Now, in the end of this semester, I feel I'm living another small death. I've met some amazing people, have learned a lot of English, built a whole routine. Holidays are coming, don't know how next year is going to be for me. But some changes come to help us meet life, learn from it, and get going on...

Not so axious...

Sometime ago I wrote a blog about anxiety. It is one of the things I struggle the most with; however, it has been teaching me many lessons.
Today I suffered a little disapointment. I was expecting something great that did not come to happen, at least not in the way I wanted to. But I've been thinking about it and realized we feel anxious because we don't know what to wait for the future. But, isn't it suppose to be an amazing thing? Not knowing about the future? Not having all things under control? Not having to depend and rely on our own strenghts all the time? Just resting sometimes...
In our listening class we have been discussing about free will and predetermination. That is an endless topic! No ways one can say "I have the answer!" I have my own hypothesis though: It is certain we have free will, which leads us to be responsable for our decisions and actions. That is wonderful, knowing we can always be better persons, we can improve our skills and push hard to achieve our goals. However, I think it comes to a point where God or destiny (whatever you believe in) will put His or its finger in the situation and say "That is not what I want for her, even though she doesn't know I have something much better to surprise her".