Learning to depart

I was reading a book last month that really touched me. It is called "Turn my Mourning into Dancing". It is from a famous priest called Henry Nowen. The book is about the hardships we go throughout our lives, and how they can be used for us to grow and not to complain.
There is this amazing passage about death which I want to remember always and apply it in all the areas of my life.
"This (death) can discorage us, of course. It leads some to despair. But we can also discern in the very disapointments life gives us chances to reflect hopefully on our mortality. Birth, going to school, attending college, marrying, getting a firt job, and retiring all provide us with opportunities to let go of what we find familiar. They usher us into our lives 'small deaths'. They remind us that fear and love are born at the same time. Both are never entirely separated in our existence. But as we come into contact with these little deaths we meet life. They allow us to learn to let go. They prepare us to discover a life different from what we have known before.
Life is a school in which we are trained to depart."
For me, a small death from which I've been learning is leaving my country. Now, in the end of this semester, I feel I'm living another small death. I've met some amazing people, have learned a lot of English, built a whole routine. Holidays are coming, don't know how next year is going to be for me. But some changes come to help us meet life, learn from it, and get going on...

Not so axious...

Sometime ago I wrote a blog about anxiety. It is one of the things I struggle the most with; however, it has been teaching me many lessons.
Today I suffered a little disapointment. I was expecting something great that did not come to happen, at least not in the way I wanted to. But I've been thinking about it and realized we feel anxious because we don't know what to wait for the future. But, isn't it suppose to be an amazing thing? Not knowing about the future? Not having all things under control? Not having to depend and rely on our own strenghts all the time? Just resting sometimes...
In our listening class we have been discussing about free will and predetermination. That is an endless topic! No ways one can say "I have the answer!" I have my own hypothesis though: It is certain we have free will, which leads us to be responsable for our decisions and actions. That is wonderful, knowing we can always be better persons, we can improve our skills and push hard to achieve our goals. However, I think it comes to a point where God or destiny (whatever you believe in) will put His or its finger in the situation and say "That is not what I want for her, even though she doesn't know I have something much better to surprise her".

What I want for Christmas...

When I was a kid, the closeness of Christmas made me wonder what present I would get from Santa. I would write letters and expect restless that my wish would become true. On the Chritmas eve my whole family would gather around the tree, which was packed with presents aroud it; tiny, smal ones, and realy huge ones. We used to have a big supper (we still do) and talked a little bit about the meaning of Christmas. Those were all great presents from Santa! Nowadays I realize I had much more than I expected: I had the same love Jesus had when he was born, a kind and caring family around me!
For this Crhistmas, I'm not going to be with my whole family for the first time, but I still have some wishes I would like Santa to grant me:
I want a nice cozy home, with lights all around;
I want snow falling outside and the lack of worry about tomorrow;
I want kids around me and the sound of gifts being unwrapped;
I want a nice, warm supper with my friends;
I want a simple and sincere prayer;
I want to feel like a kid again; I want my mom around and I want to sit on her lap;
I want an expected phone call and I want to hear my dearest ones celebrating;
I want hugs and kisses;
I want the love of God to surrond me and whisper to me "I came for your sake, so you could have the greatest Chistmas present, my abundant love."
I would not ask for more this Christmas...

Snow

Before I came to Canada, I had never seen snow before. Probably you Canadians, or you people who live here for a long time won't understand me, but it's a strange impression. I'm quite used to see everything around me quite green, or red, pink, even brown. However, seeing all around white is a weird experience! At first I got pretty excited, and I'm still. But I keep thinking all the time how people deal with daily problems snow causes, like taking it from the top of your car in the morning, warming the engines. Even walking on the street...I'm always aware not to fall! Not staying outdoors for a long time is inconceiveble for me, as I used to take long walks in my city. Everything about snow is new for me. At the same time it's annoying sometimes, it is quite enchanting watching the little white light flakes fall outside my window...!

Anxious

I'm a very anxious person. This has been a characteristic I've been trying to change! I want to see everything ready in my life! Concluded, done, perfect! But sometimes, I think it would be no fun if it were like that, if we didn't have challenges, or disapointments, or hope that something was going to change...It would be no fun at all. I try to convince myself that way. Try to believe that, try to enjoy each day! It's quite hard for me!
Today I feel a little low. Miss my home, my family, my friends, one specially I have learned a lot with. Sometimes I think if I have done the right choice...I believe so, but I still feel insecure now and then. This is all related to my anxiety. The fact that I wonder all the time what comes ahead... and try to control it, make the best decision based in what I know abou the future! I know that is not possible. And if it were, I know it wouldn't be good for me. Let's just see what God's will brings...

Cultures

I've been learning a lot about different cultures here in Calgary, and specially here at University. Calgary bears people from all around the world. You can talk to traditional Canadians, with their "hey", in the end of every sentence. You can meet Chinese (many Chinese...). They are very friendly and make us wonder what they're speaking with so much enthusiasm. We can see many people from Muslim countries. They seem misteriouly charming. Latin Americans, I love them, make me feel home, I've never liked so much hearing spanish, even though I speak a lot spanish with my dad's family, from Venezuela. Didn't meet many Brazilians here at University, but I know they're out there...For all that diversity to work it takes a lot of respect, and that I've seen plenty! It makes me feel glad about the city I've chosen to live for now!

Those on the left are some pictures of my city. It is called Belo Horizonte (BH), which means "beautiful horizon". And it cetainly is!!!